“Do It Again But Less Shit” - How To Fail Successfully

Take a minute to think back to a moment in life where you have failed.

I can think of one.

In fact, much to the dismay of my ego — I can think of multiple.

One moment that stands out in particular is what should have been, an exciting milestone for the fresh 18 year old on her path to freedom.

You guessed it, the driver’s license test.

The word failure doesn’t really do justice in describing what I experienced in my quest to successfully end up on the road.

For context, the first time I went four wheel driving over the curb of the road coming out of the driveway. Only 0.983 seconds in the car, to hear ‘instant failure’ from the assessor, kindly instructing me to pull over before I cause anymore damage.

To cut a long story short, this was paired with not one, but four more unsuccessful attempts before I was able to hit the road. Dreadful, right?

Despite my sheer frustration, humiliation and embarrassment.. this experience provided me with an opportunity achieve a successful outcome despite (many) set backs.

For lack of better phrasing…

Do it again, but less shit.

Failure can be defined as the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and is completely unavoidable and inevitable at one point or another in our lives.

Any challenge we face brings the potential for failure and working toward a physique or performance based outcome is no different. So how do we move through it?

Allow it.
Failure comes in all shapes and sizes, from skipping a workout and dietary in-compliance to missing a lift on the platform. The first step to moving through this is to welcome it.
Remove the emotional attachment to the experience and see it for what it is.
Perhaps not hitting a goal weight by an intended date, or over indulging on the weekend, understand that this singular experience does not define success and is only a vessel for growth and improvements to be made.

Separate it.
A damaging pattern to fall into is identifying with failure.
The person who misses a week of workouts and attaches that to their identity now falls under the category of ‘the person who simply can’t make it to the gym’

‘I am on/off track’ and ‘I am inconsistent’ become familiar phrases and we begin to box ourselves into limiting beliefs that seemingly define us and our capabilities. When we identify with our failures and mistakes, we consolidate that as our truth and begin to behave in a way that cements that as our identity.

Labelling ourselves does not aid our progress, and it is important to separate our identity from the speed bumps we encounter along the way.
This is a dangerous spiral to step into and enables various self sabotaging behaviours and limiting beliefs.
Remember, you may have failed.
However you are not your failure.

Own it.
Taking ownership for our actions puts us in the driver’s seat.
When we play the blame game or avoid taking responsibility for our actions, we are essentially giving our power away.
The blame game is a nasty trap to fall into.

‘Yeah but work was busy, I couldn’t help it’
‘I didn’t have groceries, it’s not my fault’
‘My Mum cooked dinner, I couldn’t say no’

Deflecting blame onto external experiences means that we are always at the whim of our circumstances.
Taking complete ownership when things go south includes acknowledging the responsibility we have in dictating our results.
When we take complete ownership for our behaviours and outcomes, we become empowered.We have the ability to control our response to stressful circumstances, and are able to respond in a way that is conducive to our outcome in the future.

Learn from it.
It is only human to make mistakes and in the face of failure, we have two options.

Option 1 entails backing into a corner and being defeated to the fact that we are simply not good enough to succeed.
Option 2 involves embracing failure and using the experience as an opportunity to see what can be done better in future, to get one step closer toward the outcome.

Reflecting on experiences provides us with an opportunity to change our approach, strategy and grow as a result.

Action it.
Failure is a lesson learnt, success is a lesson applied.
Identify the mishap, outline the strategy and take action to ensure future experiences avoid the same outcome.

‘The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result’

Get back out there, retry the lift, have another go at that diet or retake that test.

Application is your stepping stone toward success.